Yesterday, my two youngest granddaughters blessed me indeed by agreeing to travel with me to California. While I attend a writers’ conference, the girls (they’re grown women – not children), will visit the Santa Monica Pier and that great mall that overlooks the Pacific. We’ll take in Disneyland, San Diego, the Grand Canyon – Monica wants to photograph the sunrise and sunset at the canyon. From the South Rim we will travel to Santa Fe and Taos. It’s going to be a wonderful trip. The weather should be pleasant too
This morning, on awakening, I shattered into gut-wrenching sobs and basically cried on and off for a couple of hours. My first thought was that I had never told my late husband, Donald, goodbye.
You may be wondering where the blessing is in all of this – but bear with me and I hope you will understand.
Donald passed away suddenly on a beautiful day in August, 2015. That first year I was in a state of depression. I was waiting for the Good Lord to take me. I really did not think I could survive without Donald. And survive is the appropriate word – I was deep into sorrow. Several months went by and I didn’t keel over. It finally occurred to me that I might be able to have some sort of a life without Donald. And I started to heal. I started becoming more like the woman I was before I married and had my children. I was living not just surviving,
So, this morning, after I thoroughly upset my daughter who found me sobbing, I began to search for the blessing. Donald and I, like most people getting to a certain age had discussed our wishes for our funerals. We decided that one of the songs we both wanted played was I’ll Walk Just Beyond the Moon by Tex Ritter.
The song started playing in my head. I’ll just sit here by a star and watch you from afar… knowing that you’ll join me some day soon. I wiped my nose on a drenched Kleenex and thought, it wasn’t goodbye – it was like when we used to go shopping. Donald would take a seat in the Mall outside the dress shop I was visiting and wait for me.
Blessing Indeed? In my heart I count this morning’s melt-down a blessing indeed because it wasn’t necessary to say goodbye because Donald is sitting on a bench under a star just waiting for me. Thank you God!
If you dig where I am coming from – please make a comment. I need to read some comments – let me know if you understand or not.
Thank you for reading this! Blessings to you and yours!